


Birth of the Son

by RockyRoad



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Crack, F/M, Other, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:21:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1591532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockyRoad/pseuds/RockyRoad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Narnia, the odds are good, but the goods are odd; a shaggy lion story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birth of the Son

### Prologue: One year ago

Lucy protested mightily as Edmund and Susan dragged her back to her room. “But I'm the queen! I should get to know my subjects!”  
“Absolutely not,” said Peter.  
“But!”  
“Do … do you even know what a bacchanal is?” asked Susan.  
“It's a party!” cried Lucy. “Edmund said so!”  
“It's not a party for little girls,” said Edmund, blushing.  
“It's not a party for any of us,” stated Peter firmly.

### The Story: Now

In the past year Lucy had learned something of frustration, what a bacchanal was, and patience, in approximately that order. So it was that she had gone to bed early, put on a plain coat over her most daring dress, and snuck out to the bacchanal without any fuss or notice from anyone.  
She walked through the woods, hearing giggling here, laughing there, and occasional soft moaning. Her heart beat quickly; on the one hand she didn't want to be caught or recognized by any who might tell her siblings. On the other - her virginity wasn't going to lose itself, that was for sure.  
She almost walked into a pair of centaurs, but one was deeply occupied in the other. Backing away, she ran into Mr. Tumnus, wearing nothing but a scarf. They stared at each other, wide eyed. “Dear me,” said Mr. Tumnus, “I must get you back … to the … castle,” he trailed off, staring at her cleavage. Lucy took his hand and shyly put it on her breast. “Dear Mr. Tumnus... I...” Mr. Tumnus seemed stunned, but then leaned forward and kissed her hard. A moment after and they were on the ground, his hands exploring and his organ pushing against the thin fabric of her panties, rubbing up and down and then spurting in an uncontrolled burst of passion. “Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh,” sighed Mr. Tumnus. Lucy stopped writhing and opened one eye. “That was IT!?” she asked, appalled. Mr. Tumnus sat up. “Er, well, see, you're so beautiful, and … so ...” He trailed away under Lucy's glare.  
Lucy took a deep breath to calm herself. “I'm sorry, I … Wait! The philter! I'll put a drop on you and you'll be good as new!” Lucy carefully poured a single drop onto Mr. Tumnus's sadly flaccid penis. It immediately lost its angry red appearance and most of the wart-like protuberances. “AIEEEE!” screamed Mr. Tumnus. “YOU MADE ME A VIRGIN AGAIN!”  
“Oh My God,” said Lucy. “How - is that even possible?”  
“Once a faun becomes an ... Er, adult his... his... penis... becomes bright red, and gets adult markings. And it makes a pleasant burning sensation when you pee, of course.” Lucy tried to put on a polite face, but she was unsure if the nerve signals were actually getting through. “And now it's ruined!” He sobbed in despair, staring at his still-shrunken faunhood.  
Lucy backed away, but managed to choke out “Dear Mr. Tumnus, I'm sorry... perhaps some time apart...”  
“Wait, you've done this and now you're breaking up with me?”  
“No! No. No... It's more ... I've got to go,” and Lucy fled.  
Lucy ran until she was alone, and with shaking hands pulled off her soiled panties and pushed them under a bush. Panting, she took a single drop and put it on her finger, and then pushed it between her legs. “Please please please heal anything ... Oh! OOOooo!” Lucy shuddered with pleasure. “Whoa! I could bottle this and sell it! Or, better yet, I could use it myself.” Lucy rubbed herself and moaned softly.  
"Er, Lucy? Good heavens, is that you?” came a familiar rough voice behind her.  
“YIIEEE O Mr. Badger.. I was just... just...” Lucy trailed off as she completely failed to come up with any reason beyond the obvious for what she was doing.  
“Oh, now, don't be embarrassed, Lu. Came out looking for fun, things went south, and now you're here alone and frustrated?” Badger asked her kindly.  
“Well,” blushed Lucy. “Yyyes. Um. What are you doing here? And … where's Mrs. Badger?” she asked, looking around wildly.  
“Ohhhhhh, she's off with the hedgehogs. This is our time to let off some steam... Explore new things ... You know?”  
Lucy, who didn't, nodded.  
“And I don't mean to press, dear, but if you wanted someone with a bit of experience to show you the ropes, I could be persuaded to help you out, if you catch my meaning,” Mr. Badger winked at her.  
Lucy blushed even harder. “I ... is it that obvious it's my first time? I guess it would be nice,” said Lucy shyly.  
“Well,” said Mr. Badger, putting one hand on her knee and slowly pushing her dress up and her legs apart while ducking his head to get a better view, “let's just see what's in your slimy little mud pit.”  
Lucy rocketed up. “Ok, NO. Sexy time is OVER!”  
“Oh. Oh, dear. But... I apologize. Mrs. Otter always laughs when I say that..”  
For the second time in five minutes, Lucy started backing away from her paramour.  
“Perhaps I should have thought...” nattered on Mr. Beaver, “we could start over...”  
“Sorry! Got to go!” said Lucy over her shoulder as she left.  
A few minutes later, Lucy found herself at the river. She sat down and started to cry.  
“Hey beautiful” came a voice next to her.  
“Go 'way. I don't want,” Lucy looked up and saw a young Greek god rise out of the water, “...want ... Hi..” Lucy shook her head and blinked. “Wait. Are you a water spirit?”  
“Close! I'm Tristan, son of the river god! This is my first year I'm old enough to come to the bacchanal!” he said cheerily, coming up to sit next to Lucy.  
Lucy noticed with some relief ... and a bit of disappointment ... that the water formed itself into a loincloth around his hips.  
“Me too ... Look, are you made of water? Are those muscles real?” she said, thinking “Omygod, what did I just say.”  
“Let's find out,” grinned Tristan as he leaned over and kissed her. “Mmf!” said Lucy, reflexively grabbing his arms and deciding that yes, those were real enough. He placed gentle kisses across her cheeks and neck, working his way behind her as she gave herself over to this new sensation. Lucy felt his hands on her shoulders, and gasped as water poured down her dress, plastering it to her lithe form. He kissed her hard as he grasped the flimsy material, sharply ripping it down her front, exposing her firm breasts to his hungry gaze. She watched as one hand cupped her right breast, his thumb fondling her nipple. Lucy did some exploring of her own, pushing her hand into his pants and gripping - “Yiieee!” yelled Lucy, spinning awkwardly around, falling on her butt as her skirt spread open in disarray, hiding nothing from his gaze. “You .... I ...” said Lucy, staring as his loincloth dripped off, exposing his erect glittering member. “Er ... what?” he asked, puzzled.  
"It's ICE!" yelled Lucy.  
He glanced down, gave himself an approving look, and looked back at Lucy with barely controlled lust mixed with some puzzlement. “Well, of course. What else grows and gets hard? I guess this must be your first time?”  
“Look,” he said cajolingly, squatting down and taking her hand, “you'll like it once I get it inside of you.”  
Lucy scooted backwards, trying to find words to explain, calmly and rationally, why this was not an option. “Gaaaahhhrrgggghh!" is what came out.  
“Here, here, what's this?” came a new voice, belonging to what appeared to be a talking scotch terrier, “You can't take a human girl! They're not made for your sort of equipment.”  
“But!” said Tristan, looking at Lucy for support. Lucy shook her head violently and scootched back another foot. “Oh ... I ...” Tristan didn't finish, instead melting from unrequited lust and embarrassment.  
Lucy was dimly aware of the dog politely sniffing her crotch and then yapping away, but her gaze was focused on a few sorry-looking ice cubes running down the bank and floating away into the stream.  
“Oh my God, did you see... see...” Lucy faltered as she realized simultaneously that she had interrupted the dog, and also that the dog was humping her ankle. “Er,” she finished lamely.  
“Oh, don't mind me!” said the dog cheerily. “You've got legs like a queen, if you don't mind me saying so.”  
Lucy considered the odds that she would find anyone more suitable as a partner and came to the depressing conclusion that it was looking unlikely. “If you like,” she said shyly, straightening her legs and accidentally-on-purpose dislodging the amorous animal, “you could find somewhere a bit more ... comfortable.”  
“Oh! Well, I don't mind if I do, thank you kindly!” responded the terrier as he straddled her thigh right above her knee and applied himself with renewed effort to mating with her leg.  
Lucy buried her head in her hands as she felt his small dick rub back and forth on her leg, but the ordeal was over “in about three Tumnus times” thought Lucy miserably as the dog yipped with pleasure and splurted a warm wetness on her leg.  
“Ooooh, miss, those were some good legs. I hope that was as good for you as it was for me!” cheerily burbled the dog as he licked her leg, lapping up his own semen.  
“That was the least horrible sex I've ever had,” said Lucy as diplomatically and truthfully as she could manage, not looking up.  
“Excellent, excellent; love to stay and chat but there's other fish in the sea if you catch my drift...” his voice faded as he walked off into the forest.  
Lucy sat there, half laughing and half crying. Eventually she pulled out her bottle, gazed at it thoughtfully, and said “It's down to you and me, bottle. Let's sneak back into the castle and tonight ... Maybe tomorrow night ... We'll see if you're better than any of the males.” She tucked the phial back into a pocket, wiped off her tears, held her torn blouse together as best she could, and headed toward home.  
She stumbled into a clearing, and there before her stood - "Aslan!" she cried, running to him.  
"Dear one," said Aslan.  
“Oh, Aslan,” sobbed Lucy, “it's been awful, I ...”  
Aslan growled softly.  
Abruptly Lucy realized she was pressed up against his leg, her legs spread slightly, rubbing against him. Appalled, she realized she was acting like a scotch terrier, and collapsed, embarrassed.  
“I know it was wrong!” sobbed Lucy, hiding her face in her hands. “I was curious … and sick of being a virgin … and … and...”  
Aslan growled louder.  
“Nay, Lucy. Why did I give you the healing vial?”  
Lucy gulped. “T... To heal people...”  
“Aye. Not to pleasure yourself.”  
Lucy looked up from her hands, opened her mouth to speak, and stopped, staring between Aslan's legs at what she could only imagine was Aslan's Pride.  
A long moment went by.  
Lucy blinked and shook herself slightly.  
“Oh. My. God.”  
“Yes,” said Aslan smugly.  
“Is … Are … those spines on your .. your...”  
“Indeed, young one.”  
“Ah” Lucy considered her options for fleeing, and found them wanting. Then she suddenly realized what she had to do. “I see! The potion wasn't for pleasuring myself. It was for … for … that,” said Lucy, carefully opening the vial, and putting three drops between her thighs. She looked up, reconsidered the size and the spines, bit her lip, and added another drop, feeling waves of pleasure rock through her.  
She stripped off what remained of her clothes, leaned back, and spread her legs.  
“I feel as brave as a lioness,” she whispered, amazed at her own daring.

### Epilogue: One Year Later

Lucy and Susan looked down at the baby, sleeping with his butt in the air. “He is so adorably cute when he does that!” said Susan. Lucy smiled down at her baby.  
“Lu ... Look … is it ... true, what they say?”  
“Susan! How can you!? Of course it's his!” exclaimed Lucy in a heated whisper.  
“No, no! I mean, look at him! Nobody could doubt Aslan is his father. No, I mean ... are you really still a virgin? Aslan didn't actually … you know...”  
Lucy's lip quivered “No. It's true. I thought he was going … But no.” Lucy broke down entirely, weeping and flung herself at Susan, wailing “I've STILL never managed to actually have sex with ANYONE!”


End file.
